The 2 most overlooked types of boundaries for Empaths are Mental Boundaries and Time Boundaries.
Thought/Mental Boundaries are anything that involves our mental or thought space as well as our beliefs. Whilst this type of boundary can be violated by others by trying to push their views or beliefs onto us, we do often violate these ourselves quite simply because we’re not using our intuitive prowess to take up space within our thoughts and mental space.
Have you ever caught yourself saying ‘Oh, I’ll just do this and then I’ll rest,’ ‘I don’t want them to think I don’t care so I better respond now’ or perhaps someone triggered you in a conversation, you didn't get to say in real time what you needed to and the experience keeps replaying in your mind. These are some examples of how the needs of others are put before our own, even in our mental space as well as our subconscious mind trying to meet our needs within the mind through replaying a certain scenario, which is also taking up mental space. In either case, it can be easy for us to overlook these simply because they're very subtle. The material energy impacts our consciousness first through thinking, feeling and then willing so we often don't notice the impact or violation until it reaches our feelings and if the pattern has been present for a long time it will reflect in our actions.
However, when we’re able to train our consciousness to catch the thoughts in real time this is really when we can start implementing lasting change in our hearts! and into our lives!
Time Boundaries can include the other 5 types of boundaries but essentially it’s something we’re giving too much time to or not enough. As Empaths we can be very vague with our self-care time management. Often our me-time goes to simply zoning out and/or trying to recover from all the giving instead of connecting with ourselves and meeting our needs.
Simultaneously we can be very conscious of time when it involves others' needs and meeting deadlines, keeping appointments. Being there for others, not putting anyone else out.
In both cases, time is usually a point of great contention and stress for us because we don’t feel like we’re actually connecting with ourselves - filling up our cup.
What to do about it?
The easiest way to rectify our energy resources in these areas is to begin the conscious and inner journey of taking up space!
What do I mean by taking up space?
Taking up space is an internal foundation and safety within oneself. A feeling of trust to be able to be who we are without any remorse, regret, external validation, apologies, guilt, shame or fear.
It's a responsibility and dedication to our own needs and well-being regardless of the waves they may make in other's lives.
It's an all-knowing feeling of your essence, your spirit and how you choose to express this in every moment with the world.
Coming back to this space within is what it truly means to establish boundaries in any time, place or circumstance, especially with ourselves.
Below are some ways that you can begin to take up space/set boundaries in these areas of your life.
Daily Practices for Taking up Space
1. You can set a boundary ahead of time or rather decide in advance by being clear on the actions and behaviours you desire to take when a particular experience arises.
For example, when you go out to be with friends and maybe you stay too long and it takes you days to recover. Instead, be clear about exactly how much time you want to spend and do your best to stick to it. Notice the thoughts and feelings that are coming up around it as you navigate this.
2. Consciously set aside some time for yourself each day, preferably at the beginning of the day, and check in with yourself.
What do I feel in this moment? What do I need in this moment?
Then write down how you're already taking up space in your life — areas in your life where you feel confident, safe, connected, and present. Areas where you already trust yourself.
Maybe in your career, with your friends, how you've decorated your home...
3. Find at least one person that you can safely unpack your inner world with, to create vulnerability with. This type of connection deeply validates and ultimately transforms our hearts so we can continue to grow, evolve and ultimately find avenues and the confidence to express what's inside, with the world - To take up space mentally, emotionally and spiritually! 4. Once you've deepened that me-time and created space. Bring some gentle meditation practices and yin yoga into this. This will help you to create more conscious awareness of yourself, in real-time and eventually around others as well. If you'd like more support on your healing journey, join my complimentary course below
Learning how to protect your energy without giving your power away!
In loving service,
Lalita | Spiritual Growth Coach
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