Steal my secret strategy for healing the loneliness wound!
Most of my experiences with others, until 5 years ago, were immensely painful.
I craved love, care, affection, and depth of closeness - to be seen but simultaneously it was so painful to let anyone into my heart.
Actually, it was terrifying!
Despite my deep desire to meet these needs,
I feared being abandoned more,
I feared being rejected more,
but most of all I feared losing myself in the connection
Only to feel my trust and good intentions betrayed yet again!
After all this was all I’d ever experienced in relationships.
A lot of my time, energy and focus (mostly subconscious) went into maintaining coping strategies such as -
❌ Protecting my energy by avoiding people and places
❌ Focusing on everyone else’s energy (reading the room)
❌ Avoiding my feelings by working until I dropped and then eating my feelings
❌ Pleasing everyone to avoid the crippling anxiety
How I healed loneliness
✅ Vulnerability is the antidote for loneliness because it creates better quality and depth of connection but first we must learn to be vulnerable with ourselves.
✅ Create awareness around what triggers your survival resources or coping strategies through somatic practices - learn to be with yourself in those painful emotions (remember your emotions are just feedback for how to invite love into your life). For most Empaths this survival consciousness will be part of our everyday life.
✅ Find ways of seeing the Divine symbology.This process of vulnerability is akin to the surrender needed in any spiritual practice. By facing these parts of self they’re bringing you closer to your soul's purpose.
✅ Understand your unique personality needs. Explore what lights you up!
As you bring awareness to how you’re protecting yourself instead of being vulnerable and caring about yourself, there will be space between who you actually are and the pattern of fearing being abandoned. In this space, you can see and feel the magic of you and start to see your needs separate from giving out to everyone!
✅ Boundaries - As our unique identity starts to shine through and needs become clear you can understand
- Your fears around being with other people
- What it means to be open and vulnerable with others,
- What it means to connect, meet your needs effortlessly and build those deeper relationships.
✅ From this space you will have more staying power in your relationships. This means you won’t need to disconnect to protect As we have a habit of opening and then shutting down part of our disorganised attachment style.
Whilst we cannot change our past traumas and high unmet needs from childhood we can be there for ourselves in ways that not only meets those high unmet needs but also transform our hearts and our perceptions of reality to co-create a truly magical life!
One of deep contentment, whether we’re alone or with others.
Your reality, perception and identity are no longer based on externals but on your values and qualities.
If you'd like more support on your healing journey, join my complimentary course below
Learning how to protect your energy without giving your power away!
In loving service,
Lalita | Spiritual Growth Coach
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